All Apologies

three reasons why i have this song in my head
1. the weather; activating nostalgia about when i had to encounter the outdoors every day and get messy
2. appreciating the grunge wardrobe; not trying to impress anyone. at least for today.
3. a very long and somewhat painful critique; got me thinking about when i had dreams of being a scholar. now i dream to be back in the physical (contact-sports?) world.

Go here to watch an unplugged version of what i am talking about. I remember watching this on mtv when i was in elementary school. yknow, when i was wearing converse hightops, cutoff jean shorts and tshirts to school everyday and playing rough on the football field. the sun-warmed grass and mud had an embracing effect, for about an hour each day at recess. i remember that the late-melting snow turned in to ice piles on our field that made for pretty harsh scrapes if you really wanted to tackle the ball handler ("smear the queer" - sorry, i said it.) piling up on the ball, on the ice with 10 scrappy boys was embracing, too.

my life was i guess not so innocent back then. we all cycle through these things. i've spent about 6 years trying to convince my mom that my life is drug free, but now i ask that she at least enjoy seeing kids fucked up once and a while...